I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
