Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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