I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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