I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
