he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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