New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
