And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
