Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
