So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
