I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
