Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
