Your face is a jimmy john
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i believe in u and ur pee
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We smell like vodka and hangover
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