so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
These tits shall not be calmed
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize