it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize