i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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