here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
