Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
how does that bad decision feel?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I forget how to act sober
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
