Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
