We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
