She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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