But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
