Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
