spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
