my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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