well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
