I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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