I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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