I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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