We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
