worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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