There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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