Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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