I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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