Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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