Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
