other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
