Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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