11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
