wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
