Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
