So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize