I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
