Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
