I saw his package. It spoke to me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
