I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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