They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
