had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
