i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Houston, we have a blender
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
