I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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