I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize