He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
