Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
