When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
