I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
