Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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