Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
