after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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