His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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