We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
