why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
